Little Red Running Hood

Miles: 1700something.... I have never been good at doing what is good... for me.  I use things to the extreme, I demand excellence from myself in every area of my life, and I am my most merciless critic.... but a few Saturdays ago,  walking away from a race my body was not capable of running well.... was the easiest thing in the world... when the time finally came. I have been training 2 years for the marathon I have not been able to run. I have put so much of my life on hold.  Invested time and effort into running miles upon miles.... almost 4000 miles have gone into the last 2 years.... in addition to time, I have poured every piece of my heart and soul into this training. For a day that STILL has not come to fruition.  But, when my body is hurt.... I have learned to be selfish. I will not criticize myself and I will be happy and proud of all that I have learned, gained, and accomplished along the way.  I will not dwell on things that were not meant to b...

MILES YEAR TO DATE 1602 Didn't we already do this marathon thing.... wait what... It is happening AGAIN? In 3 weeks you say? FML.  I thought we did that whole calm before the storm, I thought we did the storm, and.... when does the sun come out....???? FML. I need rest.... I need time... I FREAKING NEED TO RUN MY RACE. Ahhhhh I am enjoying the life of a single woman on this RAINY Sunday( is that kind of an oxymoron? because it's actually the current situation!) afternoon.... seriously it really is raining.... and I am pretty happy.... my 8th marathon behind me... my disaster of a relationship.. behind me... endless opportunity in front of me.... but all of that aside.... I am running another marathon. In 3 weeks! Yeah, I can't quite believe it myself.... that is actually WAY harder than a break up! Break ups are easy.... you lay on the couch and eat ice cream... or go out and drink with friends.... but... instead of all of that... I am lacing up my shoes to try again....

2867 Miles and almost 2 years of training.......... Everyday a run appears on my schedule, I do the run, without fail. I do not question how, why, or if.... I do the run.  And then, wait for the payoff.  Some runs are hard because they are suppose to be.  Some are hard because they just are.... and some are peaceful and calm and pure happiness.  But not a run goes by that I don't feel a small nagging belittling frustration.... why wasn't I faster.... why wasn't I better..... but still.... the running continues. I, like 60,000 other runners, am days away from running one of the 6 marathon majors... It is kind of a big deal. We are all...kind of a big deal. As with any marathon, literally.... blood, sweat and tears have gone into this.  And days before the start... I am doing the only thing I can to help myself have a good chance at running strong.... I am sleeping.  Yeah.... I keep repeating that I am well trained, that I have a training log of proof...

Last night was our last run before the biggest racing event of the year for our little Indianapolis based group.  It was an easy progression run.  Just 5-6 little miles, changing gears, feeling good, shake out the legs, and feel how strong and ready we are for Saturday.... only once again.... easy never came.  It was all kind of hard.  Just thick and heavy and hard..... which eventually gave way to a little better and then it was over..... and once again.... my mile times were not where i wanted them to be..... Before the run I had a coaching meeting.... I poured out everything about feeling like my training had been scrappy since summer..... how being hurt had really messed with my nice neat training plan and how could that translate into a nice neat race..... could I go the distance.... I have not one run this year that shows me I am race ready..... and ...... I am feeling myself close to making rookie mistakes..... To this I received some of the best stories a...