Little Red Running Hood

Dear Self,  Does it ever get exhausting.... believing you are so weak, doubting yourself, fearing almost everything that you want? Does it ever get overwhelming thinking you will never be good enough, strong enough, fast enough? Does it ever get hard trying to please everyone and agree with everything and to smile every single second.  Do you ever just want to take responsibility for the strong, fierce, determined girl you are and say .... F it.... it is what it is and I am no longer going to be afraid or doubt me.  I accept me 110% and what any one else thinks.... no longer matters...I will rise up to my full potential in every aspect of my life. I will believe in the only person that can actually make a difference in my world. I will start trying to please that person and smile for that person and be everything that person is capable of being.  Does it ever get exhausting.......to be so much less than you are capable of being.....to hide yourself behind weakness...

It is life illuminating... the blaze from the fire of burning bridges.... it is like a small spark that completely ignites the darkness into a warm glow of hope and peace. Watching something burn that was causing so much pain and hardship..... knowing that place will no longer exist in your life because you discovered it was a toxic hell and destroyed it with everything you had..... so that out of the ashes.... something new could arise.... as if the Mephistopheles in my personal Paradise Lost could be doused in the flames of his own evil deeds and sleep for eternity.... or at the very least stand on the other side without a bridge into my world of peace. I am still protecting myself a great deal. Losing my Dad was a real hit to my inner and outer strength arsenal.  That still feels very raw and very difficult to grasp. Trying to understand the malevolent actions of a person who recklessly broke my heart.... that is easier to take in..... and easier to shut down. Each day, I am ...