JTG: Finishing Graces
MILES 179
I can't help but thinking my miles are building awful slow. For a distance runner. SO. Trail run saturday morning. It was fantastic. Freezing cold, snow covered, bitter, and early in the morning. I think it was 14 degrees when we started that race…. running off into the woods from the snow covered field of start……
8am I arrived at the race, to pick up my race packet. This race was kind of special to me. I was a free entry because of my running group. Our group had 5 free entries and as I was one of the first to respond… I have all of my race fees waived and I am representing my awesome group. UGH…. me??? I push this out of my mind. THIS is a trail run. I can not win this, I do not train on the trails, I am here to get a run in, do my best, have fun, and not get hurt. I have a choice….shorter hard course, medium course, long easy course.
After seeking some advice from trail running friends, I decide I will do the hard. I like a challenge so why not! Standing at the start I meet a girl and a guy who are also going to do the hard and we form a sort of stay together alliance…. out there in the snow covered wilderness…. we are a pack….we will help each other if needed. As we set off down the 1/2 mile straight away we prepare to make the turn on to the HARD path. At the last minute….girl turns medium…… Guy and I are alone…. our pack down to 2…. we make the turn onto HARD and we see our first challenge…. A hill about 4 stories into the air, steep and snow/ice covered….. racers are on all 4s clinging to trees and gripping at the snow covered ground. I do a quick mental assessment of how far back the turn off was…. should I turn around…. WHAT exactly was beyond this hill. We jog over to the hill and begin the accent. It is imperative that we all communicate…. we are wedging our feet into roots and gripping for solid surface as we climb, asking our front person if they are ok….. one person slips….we all fall down…. this hill takes a few minutes to climb…. and as we round out to the top…. the real adventure begins….. the twisting turning up down constant hills and swerves both on and off trail watching the ground every second to see what was ahead, in front and beneath us all at the same time. While trying to run and make a little time. And staying on course…. which is hard when the course is off trail.
My pack is named Jack, we introduce ourselves while running through the woods. He is great about calling out PASSING on left/right…. so we are able to over take runners…which is hard to do on a trail. We are communicating about the path and the obstacles in our way forcing us on and off trail and any form of solid surface. We climb over stuff, hurdle trees, and take steep turns all in more snow than seems possible. Here in the woods under the tree cover nothing melts or dissipates in the bitter cold. The air in our lungs is like breathing ice and our skin is so cold….. but something is happening…. here I am running faster, because Jack is behind me…. and I don't want to mess him up, I also don't want to end up alone out here….. and Jack is running faster to keep pace with me…. it was over before I knew it…. there were some slips…. and we steadied and overcame the ground never losing our footing and we passed people on that trail and we just never looked back. When we finally saw FINISH…. we began to accelerate speed….. I said should we push it…. Jack said YES and we took off….. And the strangest thing happened to me….. there on that snowy trail straight away…. I had so much left…. I could have sprung out in my power sprint start people never see coming and probably beat Jack by a few seconds….. maybe not…. but I think just catching him off guard I could have beat him….. but on that day…. at that time…. all I wanted to do was finish WITH him….. we were in this together. So we ran fast….really fast and I never tried to break away…. only to maintain fast. We finished the course at exactly the same time….. we high fived after the finish….. and then of course I puked. LOL.
On that day….. I ran with my heart….. I ran for the love of running. And I loved every minute….. and ironically, not even caring or thinking it possible……... I placed 3rd in my division. And…. it was a decent size division. Wait…. wasn't I just crying in my car about being 4th……..
Ironically….. they messed up and in the awards…..my 3rd place…..with its podium spot and bragging rights and Facebook photo…. went to some one else….. I would later receive and email apologizing and the published results are correct……. but the funny thing was….. it was all ok. I had done my best….. and on that morning, at that moment…. I was actually ok with how I had done….. it was a good race.
I feel like I learned something about comradery, integrity, grace, competition…. and winning. It just all made sense on that day. On that finish line stretch…… having done it together all the way to the end. And about realizing there are somethings even sweeter than victory… and I am not sure what that was on that morning….. but that high five… that sense of happiness and that 30 minute bond…. it was better than any place I could have won. I guess that's what it's like to run with your heart.
At the awards…. I joined my running group…. the all around race winners…. the amazing runners….. the athletes. They took podium spots and awards and they were so nice….. encouraging me to run with them in the group training…… ME????? It always amazes me, the support from the top…. how the best of the best could invite me to be one of them…… humble and kind and genuine….. it's kind of an open club…. running….. everyone is invited, what you do with that invite is up to you.
I am sacred to run with them. Because I will lose every time. I know this. I knew this a year ago, when I was first introduced to the group…… and I also know that losing to the best will make me better….. that having some one to chase, is a gift…… and I know with unparalleled certainty that I MUST gather up the courage to run with them…… because nothing changes when it's always the same…. and if I don't change how I train, I will never change my results….I will never win…...sometimes our willingness to work for what we want, to wait for what we want…..reveals the value we place on what we are working and waiting for…… and sometimes when you give up the good to go for the great you fail so many times that it seems you will never overcome….. and it's not easy….. losing never is…… but then again….neither is winning and and if the path to winning starts with failure and defeat…… then I am exactly where I need to be and really happy that I finally made it this far!
FOOD….. All I want to eat lately is yogurt and MORE yogurt and oranges!
Workouts……..I am trying so hard to work my dead lifts and build strength!
I can't help but thinking my miles are building awful slow. For a distance runner. SO. Trail run saturday morning. It was fantastic. Freezing cold, snow covered, bitter, and early in the morning. I think it was 14 degrees when we started that race…. running off into the woods from the snow covered field of start……
8am I arrived at the race, to pick up my race packet. This race was kind of special to me. I was a free entry because of my running group. Our group had 5 free entries and as I was one of the first to respond… I have all of my race fees waived and I am representing my awesome group. UGH…. me??? I push this out of my mind. THIS is a trail run. I can not win this, I do not train on the trails, I am here to get a run in, do my best, have fun, and not get hurt. I have a choice….shorter hard course, medium course, long easy course.After seeking some advice from trail running friends, I decide I will do the hard. I like a challenge so why not! Standing at the start I meet a girl and a guy who are also going to do the hard and we form a sort of stay together alliance…. out there in the snow covered wilderness…. we are a pack….we will help each other if needed. As we set off down the 1/2 mile straight away we prepare to make the turn on to the HARD path. At the last minute….girl turns medium…… Guy and I are alone…. our pack down to 2…. we make the turn onto HARD and we see our first challenge…. A hill about 4 stories into the air, steep and snow/ice covered….. racers are on all 4s clinging to trees and gripping at the snow covered ground. I do a quick mental assessment of how far back the turn off was…. should I turn around…. WHAT exactly was beyond this hill. We jog over to the hill and begin the accent. It is imperative that we all communicate…. we are wedging our feet into roots and gripping for solid surface as we climb, asking our front person if they are ok….. one person slips….we all fall down…. this hill takes a few minutes to climb…. and as we round out to the top…. the real adventure begins….. the twisting turning up down constant hills and swerves both on and off trail watching the ground every second to see what was ahead, in front and beneath us all at the same time. While trying to run and make a little time. And staying on course…. which is hard when the course is off trail. My pack is named Jack, we introduce ourselves while running through the woods. He is great about calling out PASSING on left/right…. so we are able to over take runners…which is hard to do on a trail. We are communicating about the path and the obstacles in our way forcing us on and off trail and any form of solid surface. We climb over stuff, hurdle trees, and take steep turns all in more snow than seems possible. Here in the woods under the tree cover nothing melts or dissipates in the bitter cold. The air in our lungs is like breathing ice and our skin is so cold….. but something is happening…. here I am running faster, because Jack is behind me…. and I don't want to mess him up, I also don't want to end up alone out here….. and Jack is running faster to keep pace with me…. it was over before I knew it…. there were some slips…. and we steadied and overcame the ground never losing our footing and we passed people on that trail and we just never looked back. When we finally saw FINISH…. we began to accelerate speed….. I said should we push it…. Jack said YES and we took off….. And the strangest thing happened to me….. there on that snowy trail straight away…. I had so much left…. I could have sprung out in my power sprint start people never see coming and probably beat Jack by a few seconds….. maybe not…. but I think just catching him off guard I could have beat him….. but on that day…. at that time…. all I wanted to do was finish WITH him….. we were in this together. So we ran fast….really fast and I never tried to break away…. only to maintain fast. We finished the course at exactly the same time….. we high fived after the finish….. and then of course I puked. LOL. Ironically….. they messed up and in the awards…..my 3rd place…..with its podium spot and bragging rights and Facebook photo…. went to some one else….. I would later receive and email apologizing and the published results are correct……. but the funny thing was….. it was all ok. I had done my best….. and on that morning, at that moment…. I was actually ok with how I had done….. it was a good race. I feel like I learned something about comradery, integrity, grace, competition…. and winning. It just all made sense on that day. On that finish line stretch…… having done it together all the way to the end. And about realizing there are somethings even sweeter than victory… and I am not sure what that was on that morning….. but that high five… that sense of happiness and that 30 minute bond…. it was better than any place I could have won. I guess that's what it's like to run with your heart.
At the awards…. I joined my running group…. the all around race winners…. the amazing runners….. the athletes. They took podium spots and awards and they were so nice….. encouraging me to run with them in the group training…… ME????? It always amazes me, the support from the top…. how the best of the best could invite me to be one of them…… humble and kind and genuine….. it's kind of an open club…. running….. everyone is invited, what you do with that invite is up to you.
I am sacred to run with them. Because I will lose every time. I know this. I knew this a year ago, when I was first introduced to the group…… and I also know that losing to the best will make me better….. that having some one to chase, is a gift…… and I know with unparalleled certainty that I MUST gather up the courage to run with them…… because nothing changes when it's always the same…. and if I don't change how I train, I will never change my results….I will never win…...sometimes our willingness to work for what we want, to wait for what we want…..reveals the value we place on what we are working and waiting for…… and sometimes when you give up the good to go for the great you fail so many times that it seems you will never overcome….. and it's not easy….. losing never is…… but then again….neither is winning and and if the path to winning starts with failure and defeat…… then I am exactly where I need to be and really happy that I finally made it this far! FOOD….. All I want to eat lately is yogurt and MORE yogurt and oranges!
Workouts……..I am trying so hard to work my dead lifts and build strength!
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