JTG: Never let your fear determine your fate.

Miles 555 +

Summer training has almost come to an end… and fall is upon us.  Fall brings a marathon and all of the glory and dedication and hard work that comes with training for a marathon…… it also brings risk for injury…. self doubt…fear…disappointment…. happiness…fear….excitement…adventure… fear…. A phrase that I have been running through my mind is this…. "never let your fear determine your fate."

Every tuesday…. when I am afraid the run work out might kill me…..afraid of how good everyone is….or on sat when i fear I may not be able to go the distance…. it is with a deep breath and courage that I show up.  And run along side some of the most talented athletes in our community… well… actually a few miles behind them…. but still….

This weekend there is an 8k ( 5mile) race.  It is the second in a triple series in which I am in 5th place.  In the confirmation email 1 word stuck out…. TOUGHEST…. as in this is the toughest course of the series… omg. OMFG.  With all of my racing and running and training…. there is still so much fear. Determining my fate.

I have been running injury free for over a month now.  100% injury feels awesome can run forever free.  I have been having so much fun.  HOLD that feeling.  I have made friends.  My love for running is stronger than ever before.

…. then the word race comes into play and it's like i have never run a step in my life….. wait….do what..???  This weekend I had a great 10 miles…. my race plan shows a 2 mile warm up/5 mile race/1 mile cool down.. And my head says OMG OMG OMG I can't run 8 miles…. I signed up for 5.  Correction.  I signed up to race 5 miles….. racing is completely different than running.  I am, at present a runner, not a racer.

In many ways I think one must connect with the beauty and magic of running while racing…. it is the only way…. clearing your mind and focusing on 1 thing….. running…. the freedom, the challenge, the feel of the pavement or dirt or grass beneath your feet….your breath….the world around you…. your stride elevating you into mid air weightless, flying, moving forward in a quick dynamic strength and mental disciplined propelled action… a runner….. just that… that one simple thing…. doing it to the best of your ability.  Turning of the fear, the doubt, and the I can't…. and simply doing……just running.

So.  As we prepare for fall….. and ramp up the training to tackle the long difficult grueling runs…. the 18 miles you don't want to do on that day…. but force yourself to do….. those hard miles that become the backbone of your races…. that teach you how to keep going when you do not, with every fiber of being, want to….YES that happens to all of us at some point… 1 mile or 20 on that day…you just don't to….you never know when…but you run anyway… THAT is what makes the marathon.  Those I don't want to days….those I can't moments…... we strengthen our minds and our bodies to the task before us….. As I let go of time goals which are saved for spring speed training and half marathons and turn my attention to the 26.2…. Still full of doubt and fear….. but knowing I can stay the course…. As we prepare for this….. I have a new secret weapon.   That weapon is a TON of other people who are as crazy and as dedicated as i am and share my ambition and goals….. I have my unit running group of 4….. that is giving me more strength and inspiration that they will ever know.  I have the courage to go out there and try this again…. after injury and failure…. and defeat…. I carry the knowledge that a few bad races does not make a lifetime of running….. and while I still have my 1:49 half and 20:00 5k goals….. Fall season is about going the distance….. to the best of my ability.   I am excited.

In our last speed session…. as my mind began to break and that gun went off in my head and I wanted to pull back and slow down…. seconds away from the goal I had set for myself….. my running friend came up along side me and carried me the last half mile.  And I was so thankful for that.  I have never had that…… and it was amazing.  I was …so full of gratitude….. it is such a powerful force we hold…. in lifting others up… in giving support and you never know what a difference it makes… until you have that unexpected support and encouragement…. I remembered my races in the spring…. when all I had left was to give it away… so I encouraged others…. maybe the season wasn't a complete failure…. maybe I actually learned something pretty great…… because of that last half mile of encouragement  I made my time goal with 4 seconds to spare….. It is going to be a great season… I am seriously excited about going to bed early on friday…. meeting my group to run early on sat and then eating all day and resting all night to give my body what it needs to become stronger.  I am not sure what lead me down this path….. how I found these amazing, inspirational people…. but it has once again strengthened my love for the sport…… I really believe…. fast or slow…. no matter how far we go….. baby we were born to run!!!!!


Strength Training
HIT ALL OF MY NUMBERS!!!! well kind of….

After 3 weeks!  Hit my Power Cleans…….
Front squats…. hit…. but had to break up set…
Back Squats…. Killing these
Bench Press…. hard but progressing
Overhead press… struggles ALL summer with this one… I think I am finally up 10 pds
Deadlift…..Killing it!

Food….. I need to do better on this….. I need to eat more….. eggs, protein shakes, fruit,  peanut butter, and popcorn were high on my list…… water water WATER.  More water please.  Extra hydration for race week.