JTB: Why I don't want to run 14 miles
Miles 180…. yep… that is correct….
It has actually been a mild winter. Not much snow, cold, but tolerable. And, as all of my running companions are outside logging miles and getting better, I am inside watching netflix on my treadmill, justifying this weak move, by thinking…. it's too cold. My healthy runners diet has been reduced to girl scout cookies and coffee….. I am in an incredible funk….My friends were all racing today and the rest of our elite run group was at eagle creek doing awesome stuff…. and I couldn't race on my long run day or keep up with the 20 elites that took to the trails…. so here I sit…..
But, at times…. when I am climbing on the treadmill at 9pm…. because it is the first chance I have had all day to run….. I feel some sense of strength and dedication…. Running 6 miles at 9pm after a full day of work and kids is not easy or fun….. but it is necessary if I am to maintain any level of running fitness… but damn…. I don't want to maintain…. I want to be better…. this is the year of the sub 8 mile…. this is the year of working towards boston…. and here I sit….. sipping coconut mocha coffee and eating samoas…. and btw…. they taste delicious…
I have 14 miles on my training peaks app…. due today…. and I kind of feel like a college kid who is putting off the assignment until the very last minute…. I should have been out the door at 7am….. but the samoas wanted to sleep in and I couldn't disturb them in the freezer until 9:30am… and, so here we are….. the clock ticking on…. blogging….. not really enjoying my coffee anymore..I remind myself that I have logged every single mile on my training peaks….. never missing 1….. no matter how busy, how tired….. how much I didn't want too do it……
In every training cycle there are the runs you do not want to do…. for what ever reason…. those are really hard runs to get through. The miles seem never ending…. you stop and mentally beat yourself up about being weak and 2 hours takes 3 hours and you feel disappointed and you are aware of every discomfort…. and others are face booking and texting YAY running shit and you are like…. I suck on top of all of the other mental belittling you have already done…..Mostly, I love to run….. I love the freedom and strength of 14 miles….. knowing that so much of it is mental….. that my mind could be that tough….. that people think 14 miles is really some incredible feat…. I assure you, it is not…it is only training…... and my old fears of…. what would I be if I wasn't a runner float back into my head…. and I question if I really want this or if I am maintaining my identity…… I have run for a long time…. 14 miles is something so common to my training cycle that I should be embracing the run…. it's good old 14 day! :) Not 20….. not FML speed work….. and yes…. it makes me… me…. but at the end of the day….. I like me and running is a big part of me….. I almost wonder of my mind is clogged up because I so desperately need that 14 mile run….. outside…… netflix is nice….. but it isn't that mind freeing, spirit cleansing fresh air outside run…… still……my pjs are so comfy and it feels so good to sit here…. and it's WARM in here…….and and….COOKIES….
I remind myself it was ME…. that told my running coach… I am ready for more miles in the training…. the 10/12/10/12 is getting old, my body handles it fine…. lets ramp up….. WHAT was i thinking….. 10 miles would be so easy today….. well…. no….. it wouldn't be. It is never easy….. it is always hard….. that's what makes it great… blah blah blah…..I remind myself…. I am the hard work… not the talent….. true or not….. telling yourself that is a MUST. The day you stop working hard…. you loose your competitive edge…… the day I believe I don't suck is the day I stop pushing myself to the brink of pain, exhaustion, and drop to the ground fatigue…. I have learned to speed train without puking…. to calm that fire in my belly and slow my breathing and relax….. I have learned that once you start to panic…. it is already over……I have learned to shut out pain…. and also to respect injuries(I think…. maybe…. not really sure on this one lol) and while I know there will still be many tears of defeat( as a girl…..I am allowed that) …. many missed goals and a lot of I don't want to do this runs…… I know…..suck or not…. I can do it…..
Post run…..
14 miles 8:45 average….. Ok. OK. Now….. Cookies!
Have been focusing on fundamental movement training and plyometrics…. core core core…. plank challenge every 3 days or so and working up on my pull ups! That is the move of the year.. the pull up.
But, at times…. when I am climbing on the treadmill at 9pm…. because it is the first chance I have had all day to run….. I feel some sense of strength and dedication…. Running 6 miles at 9pm after a full day of work and kids is not easy or fun….. but it is necessary if I am to maintain any level of running fitness… but damn…. I don't want to maintain…. I want to be better…. this is the year of the sub 8 mile…. this is the year of working towards boston…. and here I sit….. sipping coconut mocha coffee and eating samoas…. and btw…. they taste delicious…
I have 14 miles on my training peaks app…. due today…. and I kind of feel like a college kid who is putting off the assignment until the very last minute…. I should have been out the door at 7am….. but the samoas wanted to sleep in and I couldn't disturb them in the freezer until 9:30am… and, so here we are….. the clock ticking on…. blogging….. not really enjoying my coffee anymore..I remind myself that I have logged every single mile on my training peaks….. never missing 1….. no matter how busy, how tired….. how much I didn't want too do it……
In every training cycle there are the runs you do not want to do…. for what ever reason…. those are really hard runs to get through. The miles seem never ending…. you stop and mentally beat yourself up about being weak and 2 hours takes 3 hours and you feel disappointed and you are aware of every discomfort…. and others are face booking and texting YAY running shit and you are like…. I suck on top of all of the other mental belittling you have already done…..Mostly, I love to run….. I love the freedom and strength of 14 miles….. knowing that so much of it is mental….. that my mind could be that tough….. that people think 14 miles is really some incredible feat…. I assure you, it is not…it is only training…... and my old fears of…. what would I be if I wasn't a runner float back into my head…. and I question if I really want this or if I am maintaining my identity…… I have run for a long time…. 14 miles is something so common to my training cycle that I should be embracing the run…. it's good old 14 day! :) Not 20….. not FML speed work….. and yes…. it makes me… me…. but at the end of the day….. I like me and running is a big part of me….. I almost wonder of my mind is clogged up because I so desperately need that 14 mile run….. outside…… netflix is nice….. but it isn't that mind freeing, spirit cleansing fresh air outside run…… still……my pjs are so comfy and it feels so good to sit here…. and it's WARM in here…….and and….COOKIES….
I remind myself it was ME…. that told my running coach… I am ready for more miles in the training…. the 10/12/10/12 is getting old, my body handles it fine…. lets ramp up….. WHAT was i thinking….. 10 miles would be so easy today….. well…. no….. it wouldn't be. It is never easy….. it is always hard….. that's what makes it great… blah blah blah…..I remind myself…. I am the hard work… not the talent….. true or not….. telling yourself that is a MUST. The day you stop working hard…. you loose your competitive edge…… the day I believe I don't suck is the day I stop pushing myself to the brink of pain, exhaustion, and drop to the ground fatigue…. I have learned to speed train without puking…. to calm that fire in my belly and slow my breathing and relax….. I have learned that once you start to panic…. it is already over……I have learned to shut out pain…. and also to respect injuries(I think…. maybe…. not really sure on this one lol) and while I know there will still be many tears of defeat( as a girl…..I am allowed that) …. many missed goals and a lot of I don't want to do this runs…… I know…..suck or not…. I can do it…..
Post run…..
14 miles 8:45 average….. Ok. OK. Now….. Cookies!
Have been focusing on fundamental movement training and plyometrics…. core core core…. plank challenge every 3 days or so and working up on my pull ups! That is the move of the year.. the pull up.
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