Running the mile....as fast as i can....hurts my soul... there is no other way to put that.... the mental payoff is huge....but the path to get there.... when your in it....it makes death look like a less painful alternative. 

I am dropping my soul off in the team tent.... putting on some sparkle... adjusting my shades and warming up. Then walking to the start line. Going straight to the front and doing this mile thing. 

 Pain will not stop me, fear will not stop me, breathing... may stop me.... but it’s going to have to get pretty bad. I have a plan. I’m well trained. I’ve worked hard. I will make every second count. Turn over. It’s all about continuing my turn over.. just keep turning my feet over. 


I hear people saying... I am my biggest competition... I will beat the old me.... I will be better than I was before. Some people face demons... some just try to run through the pain. None of that applies to me at this race. 


For me, today, what I will face is the girl who never believed she could. The girl who thought her goals were simply not possible. The girl who failed for years. The halflete. The girl who misses her dad. The girl who, not so long ago, let herself be treated badly because ...did she really deserve more?? The girl who has been overly critical and doubts herself every chance she gets. And my goal is not to beat her. Today my goal is to meet her.....when the effort becomes painful and she is so sure that she just can’t take one more step or one more ragged breath.......  And say... let’s do this girl. 

Today, my goal is to take that girls hand and say, right now, we do this together. I believe in you.  

And no matter what happens.... I am so fucking proud of you for not giving up. Every time you were scared...and did not believe you could... you showed up anyway... and because of that.... you will cross the finish line one more time....You are strong, you are brave, you are well trained, you are fast! And most importantly,  I am ready for you. Let’s get to the other side of finish!   

SPRING 2019.... Best. Season. YET.... 

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