JTG: 1000 MILEStones

Miles 1005.64



WOW! Injury and all and I am over that 1000 mile mark!  It has been a fantastic year.  It is race week again and so everything is crazy!  Gallons of water… moody behavior….neurotic eating… clear the head, freak out…. run like you mean it….enjoy how good it feels… because Saturday the big question is………….do I want this to hurt now…. for these 13.1 miles… or later…. when the race is over…..     do you give it your all and push past every ounce of pain and desperation…. do you hold on and embrace the struggle…. allow the pain to wash over you accepting it, becoming synonymous with discomfort and doubt and panic and pushing past all of it….. do you hold on….. keep going….stay strong…. face the agony that may be overtaking your mind and say….. I can hold this and I can keep going.  It's only pain.  And it will not last forever….. but I will take it right now…. for a victorious ending…… or……. do you lose it and suffer after the race…. such simple answers but we can only know how those questions will play out when race days is upon us….. Somedays we win and somedays we just run….. either way…… by the time the next race rolls around….. it doesn't really matter…..

I didn't train for this race….. not really….. it was an add on….. and so, I am not mentally prepared like I should be….. it was always in the back of my mind….. but until you register…. there is no commitment… it's just an idea….. and Idea that 3 weeks ago, became a reality.

For the past few weeks….. I have struggled….. not quite where I was before Chicago….. frustrated, wondering where the easy speed and the groove had gone…… 9 minute miles felt devastatingly hard….. my miles bounced around form 8-9-10….. my head said you can't do this…. my body concurred….then my head said yes yes yes and my body no…. and when my body was ready…. my head was crying no more hard, no more pain, just run easy…. run happy.  And with Race eve upon us, my heart truly wishes we were all meeting up at the boardwalk tomorrow, to laugh and train and run and have fun.  Not the JWM…. pre race meeting place… were we will nervously joke and laugh and quietly panic….. then go our separate ways to the start line….. My fortune tells me it will be good…… the little orange seed sticker on my bib reassures me that I can do this race…..and deep down I know I am capable of running better than I can imagine….but on the surface…… just not sure that I am ready to take the pain that would give me a time to be happy with…..

It is Race day eve and I am completely calm!  HA!  I have evolved my routine to freak out a day before this…. so I conserve my energy and enjoy these moments….. just before bed….. when I will go to sleep just a girl and wake up a racer! It is an evening that is made for quiet doubt and difficult questions…. did I train hard enough…. did I really do the work…. think back…. all this time completely unsure….. and I remember the training…. the hard runs…. the rain, the cold, the hills, the wind, the sprints, the distance….. the friendships….the miles in the bank…...
and I believe I have done the training……and tonight may be a day for uncertainty…. but tomorrow is  for victory…..clothing laid out…..race bib ready…. shoes are laced…..hands are steady…..just a sip more of water right before bed and I think these final thoughts in my head…….. "The race will be lovely, dark and deep…. and we have promises to keep…… and miles to go after we sleep!" To what ever tomorrow brings! I am 1000 miles ready….. for something monumental!


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