Some days I do not want to "Just Do It"

Dear Nike, 

For years the phrase "Just Do It"has served as a lead motivational quote on so many of the fitness blogs, memes, magazines, and other media.  It is simple. It is bold.  It is a universal quote that can apply to so many things.  But the older I get.... as the days upon months of dragging myself out of bed turn into years.... an actual life time... lately I wake up and I no longer want to " Just Do It".  I want to go back to sleep.  In the evenings, when the day is done and I am exhausted from all of it... I want to lay on the couch with my snacks and watch mindless TV.... Do you have any other motivation?  

2022 - This year I dropped my oldest off in The Netherlands for college, my son performed in a music festival in Lisbon and Madrid, my youngest is a Varsity athlete at a big high school... and they are all killing it. Meanwhile I am here trying really hard to remember discipline.... hard work.... commitment.... is what has always defined me.  Work ethic. Doing it day after day after day.  No matter what - too tired, too busy, too sore, too hot, too cold, too whatever - still doing the thing where I lift the weights and run the miles... why?  WHY?  No really... why?  Because that is how I make myself the best me I can be.  That's all. No big deal... no major goal or accolade.... just self betterment.... 

Mornings are the worst.  Like honestly I do not even look forward to coffee any more.  It is physically painful to peel off my blanket and pull my body out of bed. But I am haunted by the knowledge that the day I stop making myself get up is the day I concede and no longer look to better myself in the only way I know how - or - want to.  It is hard to understand I am sure - just as it is hard to explain.  People seem to think I am super motivated.  I am not.  I am disciplined, I am consistent, I am stubborn, I am persistent.