JTG: Covering the distance
MILES 403So. How did it go…. on the other side of finish… like for the 100 time… I haven't run more than 100 half marathons, but I have undoubtedly run more than 100 races. How did this one go? In all of my races, injuries, pain, humiliating finishes, I think at mile 7, this race became my worst ever.
I knew I was in trouble. All week I knew it. My leg hurt. My abductor muscle. It has been nagging at me for over a month I think… since I have been ignoring this, I can't remember how long. Enter extra strength anti inflammatories from my DR….. 1000 mg a day… so yes, I can ignore it quite well.
I have pushed through injury before. Early on in my running days I had calf muscle pulls and hip flexor pain. It all gets better eventually. But I have used different methods and pain meds to help speed up the healing process. My DR gives my something a little less harmful than most NSAIDs, but still, over time, they are very bad on your system when running. So I try not to take them any longer than I absolutely have too… and the faster you run… the more blood is forced to vital organs and filtered away from your digestive tract and it's damaging…. It is NOT something a runner should be doing. But as distance runners, we are mentally trained to keep going, no matter what. So, going into the race, in pain, abductor/thigh/hip issue. So right at the start I know I can not make lateral left movements. I can move to the right and straight ahead…. and I have to tell myself if at anytime the pain becomes too much I will stop. I do not want to further injure myself.
I think… let's just make this fun as I inhale a double cheeseburger, fries and root beer….. NEVER NEVER NEVER change your pre race food.
I thought… running isn't about routine or superstition…. it's about me…. It is all inside of me….. NEVER NEVER NEVER change your pre run food.
So, by now…. this should all sound freaking crazy…. here I am, recreational runner, going for a decent recreational runner time and I am pushing through a leg injury… in a half marathon. But, nope, sounds good to me…. it's just some minor leg pain…. I am way beyond that.
I take nothing on Friday… no anti inflammatories…. I want to fully assess the pain. Yes, I have been limping for like a month but does it really hurt? I pick up my bib… have a little hip adjustment/ alignment work done… ok ok … I am ok…. I go to my friends funeral… ok….. I go to my daughter coaching meeting… ok…
By 6pm I am in bed with ice on my leg. I changed the ice pack twice through the night. I slept with ice on my leg. I woke up at 5am…. out of bed….. and right there I know I can not run this race without anti inflammatories…. but what I really should have known was…. I can not run this race…..
I roll my leg, I drink coffee, choke down as much bagel as I can…. dress…. lay down again…. remind myself I can always pull out….. pray for under 2….. and off we go……. my leg just a dull ache…
we do a warm up half mile… we are at 7:45…. perfect…. but it's a 35,000 people race… no lateral left is going to be hard to overcome….
So there in my corral, I resolve to focus on loving this moment…. loving running and being happy to be there. I turn off my timing and I just run…. relax and run… then my music started and… it was like the slowest songs on my play list and WAIT…. where is the good music… this is all wrong…..
It is aggressive getting out…. and the adrenaline rush is intense… and for a few miles…. I felt nothing… but joy and happiness and I felt ok… I had this awesome epiphany of my corral…. we were the D corral…. we were not the elite…. we were not the natural fast kids….. we were the runners who where here working our a$$ off for a good time…. because it doesn't come easy…. it is hard and we do it anyway….. we were in essence, the heart of this race….. I suddenly loved everyone… every bump or push even spit was justified to me…. you GET your time! I understood their intensity and desperation and love….. and what ever you need to do to get your time…. you DO IT! My first running group friend was at mile 5….. OMG! I have never had a friend in the crowd like that…. only my cousin in chicago who holds a sign and absolutely revitalizes me at mile 23….. OMG there she was….. I smiled so big and shouted hello! I was SO happy for that moment. I made it to the track….. this was IT… those sun baking 2 miles of difficult…. clear this, then take it home…. at that point, I was horrifically averaging an 8:41.
I made it off the track and for the first time in a very very long time. I stopped. I had to use the bathroom… I can't even believe I am blogging about that…. SO…. NEVER NEVER NEVER change your pre race meal and NEVER NEVER NEVER take NSAIDs before a race…..
OK… mile 8….. and I am still going…. I am ok…. no I am not ok… wait no I have it… oh no no I don't…. I stop AGAIN…. water… I need water… I don't…. but I need a reason to stop…. maybe I need water…. and off again….. oh good that water helped… no it didn't….. my body felt so heavy… oh no wait I am ok…. feeling strong…. WTF is mile 10….. i stop AGAIN. ARE YOU KIDDING ME…. no no I am not…. more water… again just stopping is not going to work….and from that point on it was pure hell. SOmething I have done many times and pushed through….. well… let's just say…. it knocked me to the ground and started beating me down and I couldn't get back up….. My head was done…. I was way past I can't do this…. I was at I won't do this….. where is mile 11! Dear god where is it….. At mile 12, I walked. OMG It had been so long since I had broken…. but I knew I had lost any chance for a good time and I just couldn't do it… I had nothing left…. I walked for almost 20 seconds…. started to run again and just pleaded with myself to keep shuffling forward…..
I passed an older woman who was walking…. clearly struggling… in my head I was thinking GEEZUS surely we only have a few minutes left WHERE is that darn finish……then…. I stopped again….and I turned to the woman struggling…. and I said…. Hi, I am Shannon, this is the worst race I have ever done. But we have about 5 minutes of pain left and if you can do it I can to…. and we started to run together….. My coach had told me not to give anything away…. but at that point… I gave the only thing I had left…. I gave my determination and my encouragement to some one else… and I would still break 1 more time…. I said please keep going I am right behind you and I stopped again… I took a deep breath and jogged to the finish….. 2:06… third worst time I have ever had…. I have a 2:10 winter snow and ice covered street run in which my music died at mile 9….. and a 2:09 the first time I did the 500mini…. I couldn't get past the crowd… it overwhelmed me…….
Post race, I talk to my awesome trainer…. who has great insight and encouragement as always…. "Learned something… of course it's hard… if it were easy everyone would do it…. we will get there 1 mile at a time….." My trainer is awesome because he sees me as a person and not just a runner…. he listens to me…. he focuses on strength and also rehab… he talks me through my failures…helps me analyze my success.... he is helping to strengthen my whole body and my mind.. to help me run better..…. it's really a great thing to have a good and focused trainer…My trainer makes me feel like I am actually an athlete...I admire my running coach…... but I feel so sub par…. how could he ever take me seriously….
After the race… The woman I ran with at the end found me…. and thanked me… She had gotten a PR… I had gotten a PW, but at least in the face of utter failure and despair I was able to elevate another person. I am 13 miles stronger and I am so happy I helped some one else achieve a PR…. and I learned a very valuable lesson….
If my body is not at 100% I will not have 100% to give.
I think racing injured has taken a serious toll on my mind. My last big race was Chicago… Now this. If my leg is still hurting next week, I am pulling out of Geist. I need to remember racing without the pain of injury. People tell me I will not heal… running is hurting me… I am to old to get any better.. I will never be that good…. to that I say…. Our bodies are incredibly resilient I will heal even stronger, running helps me far more than it could ever hurt me….but yes, I need to have patience and compassion with my body…. and age is just a number. No, I will never be that good, I don't want to be good, I am going for the great.
I may need to step back a little…. I may need to shut off the timers and just run…. when my leg is better….. but stop racing….. I can't ever see that in my future…… that start line, that number….that adrenaline…. that journey…. that finish…. it's in my blood…..
GOAL check… I did clear the track before the race was won… I saw the tape on the screen…. I looked up at that screen in utter amazement….AHHHH 402… my miles are on track for averaging 100 a month… a week off may kill it…. but oh well… I have a 26.2 in oct that will help recover it!
Think happy thoughts while resting… don't get that crazy I can't run anger thing…..LOL yeah right…..
So…. you may have thought this blog was going to go something like this….. Hey I am trying for a 1:49…. watch me GET it…. the truth is, for me, it is much harder than that…. mentally, physically….. all of that… I started this blog to have record of a very long journey…. so I could learn from it and share my experiences with others…. It will happen…. but in running….. the road is long….. and even years in…..I have only begun to travel down that road of infinity….There is so much left to experience and learn and achieve….
Magic Pre race run…. I couldn't do this because of my leg… I went for a steady 6…. but here it is
1 mile warm up
1 mile full out sprint everything you have!!!!
1 mile cool down
The ultimate push…. you are READY!
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