JTG: Post Race Thoughts


Miles 155


Another number added to the wall. OK so, post race.  And a lot of stuff is going through my head.  Today is a good day and I am having a myriad of really good thoughts.  First, my run last night was amazing.  7 miles 8:31 average, gives me A LOT of hope for my race in May.  I need an 8:20 for 13.1 miles.  And while that is far from target… it is early in training and it is within my reach.  I feel that this really may be possible…...like lower 8 domination is something I can attain.  A pretty solid 2-3 of those miles at a 7:53…. and I had this mini break though.  I wanted to stop…. at about .40 of my mile…. my head was like TOO FAST SLOW DOWN STOP STOP…. assessed my breathing…. fine…. my legs…. not tired…. speed…. not to fast…. but my head and my gut said SLOW DOWN.  SO I thought about something else.  I pictured my daughter on the beam…. doing amazing…over coming her fears… I thought of her seamless bar routine… her high and perfect flying dismount…. how she lost footing and fell in the warm up…. but got up brushed it off and turned out a near perfect routine when it was time to compete…..a 9.25 and the only 9 on her whole team.  I visualized her, my tiny champion with such fearless focus and dedication  and before I knew it… my mile was over and after I slowed to an 8:53 cool down and I was ready to ramp up speed again. 7:53 was a comfortable pace.

I am far from where I need to be in May.  But I am one step closer to getting there.

THIS weekend.  OK. It was freezing.  It was snowing.  There was about 6 inches of snow on the ground. I left an 1 hour and 15 minutes early and made it to the start line with 3 minutes to spare. I did that blend in to the middle of the pack no confidence WTF am I doing this thing I sometimes do in races.  I made NO time in that first mile.  AHH the first mile is so important.  It sets the race…. it makes you and it brakes you and it determines your place in the pack.. As I watched the leaders pull away from the middle pack… I was actually more concerned with not slipping…… I was annoyed with myself instantly.   WHERE was my confidence…. Where was my determination…. I think it was on the beach in florida getting a tan or something…

So I ran, happy, snow covered, upright.  When my feet hit the flat clear surface under the bridges my legs felt like woobley jelly at the snowless footing…. not having to power though with each stride….. Again I was thankful for my trail running experience, that has taught me so much about maneuverability in any condition and quick thinking…. how to process anything that is coming at you before you hit it…. it's kind of a skill to process and decide and react in a matter of seconds…. you can't hesitate… and messing up could be a race killer!   If there is one thing I can tell a runner to do that will greatly improve speed endurance strength and mental capacity in 1 race…….TRAIL RUN.  It is the creme de la creme of the sport.  And unless you are a trail runner…. expect to be last….. It is HARD.  But it teaches you to run….smarter.

As my play list went on…. I realized my time was going to SUCK.  Like really suck. And the miles seemed longer than I had ever experienced. But I finished and I did something WAY outside my comfort zone and there is, I believe a lesson there.  MY lesson that day came when I looked at the results.  I am a decent 5k runner.  I average 24-25… on a good day I can hit a 23.  THAT day I ran a 30 minute 5k.  And I really did run the whole time.  I was 4th in my age group.  4/18 and 36/136 for females.  Awards only of to the age group top 3 in 5ks.  OMG Tell me I was 6th….. tell me I was 10th!  TELL ME I have WORK to do.  But don't tell me I JUST MISSED getting a medal.  Realizing I had not tried, at any time,  to gain speed or pushed my limits and seeing that my lack of effort, lack of confidence, self sabotaging ways had once again landed me 4th….. this has happened before….I was really really mad at myself. If only I could find that place inside during a race that says…. YOU CAN….. I remember last year in Geist…. at mile 11…. I knew I had it….. It was amazing…. WHY can't I have that moment in every race.  Well on sat morning I left the race…. to intimidated to stay with my awesome running team for a picture and got in my car and cried.  I cried because I am better than that and I know it.  It is not about beating some one else.  Not even about winning.  It is about ALLOWING myself to be the best ME I can be.

And that was a break though too.  Knowing that I don't have to win to be happy.  I just have to do my best.  I am good at this.  I truly believe that on most days.  But until I can believe in myself and put forth my best effort every time….any place I get will always be 4th place…. almost winning …. but just not good enough.

I even had an argument about this race…. Some one told me if I was that upset about getting 4th place in a race I had my priorities messed up, it was, after all just a little hobby, no one died and nothing life changing had occurred….. All I can say about that is…. Running is WAY more than a hobby.  And if you don't have something like that in your life…. you will never understand.  It defines me, it consumes me, it makes me a better person.  It fulfills my life in ways I can not even explain.  But I know I am better because of it.  Without it I would be missing something very great in my life. It's my passion. It's my guidance. It's my strength.

And that brings me to right now… over the years I have gone from I just want to finish the race and run the whole time….. to I want to get X time in this race….. to I want to win a place…… TO THIS:  I want to do the very best I can possibly do. Holding nothing back, believing in myself and steadily improving and learning.  I don't care about beating anyone else anymore.  I only care about doing it to the best of my ability.  When I can do that.  That is when I will win.








RUN:  HARD MILE REPEATS
1/2 mile warm up
1 mile race pace
5 min relaxed run
1 mile faster than race pace
5 min relaxed run
1 mile FAST … as fast as you can maintain 1 mile
5 min relaxed run
repeat with 1/2 miles and 2 min relaxed runs in between
1/2 mile cool down

Monday was leg day
dead lift 135!  15 pds over my body weight!!!! YAY.  Working on building strength

Butter Pecan Protein shake!  YUM!  They actually make that flavor!!!!! Happy happy happy!

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