JTG: Everyday Heros

MILES 346

Last night, I stepped completely out of my soft fluffy comfort zone and went to run group.  Actually it's a racing group.  Wow.   All day, I worried. I had really built this up in my head.  I was nervous.  I knew no one.  And these were winners.  I feel like I am just starting to learn how to run……

The mail came…. There on the cover of the city news paper was the 4 time carmel marathon champion…. breaking the tape…. this year he is going for his 5th win…. he was wearing a shirt displaying the name of my racing group.  NO WAY I can do this.

I remember getting to the starting line is sometimes the hardest part for me… that courage to drive myself to the race… get out of my car… walk to my coral and COMMIT.  I had nothing to wear…. right… I couldn't wear a past race shirt… I would look full of myself… or like a runner or something… I couldn't wear cotton… I needed my arms free… I couldn't wear a shirt about running…. WTF do  I wear…..Stuck in a traffic jam on the way to group… oh good maybe I should turn around… and then I was there.

In the beginning it was like my worst fears…. the winners stood in the front… tall lean mostly men, they just looked like runners…. hungry, strong, kinda hippy and zen, long thin muscular legs… they stood in a line looking out at the parking lot…. I stood alone.  Groups began to form…. people who knew each other talking about that day's run or up coming races or training in general.  Groups peppered the parking lot.  Still I stood alone.  But I did notice….most people kind of looked…. like me.  Shorter, strong, shorts and tank tops… pony tail… just normal people.  Just a parking lot full of normal people about to blow me away.

Across the lot was another girl.  Standing alone.  She was very overweight and she was… smiling.  We smiled that hey i don't know anyone either smile and she walked over to me to say hello.  She told me about her training and fall race plan…. we talked until it was time to start…. and I found myself alone in the lot unsure of what to do….. Then I was running ….. behind everyone else because I had about a 2 minute start dely while I tried to figure WTH was going on…..

And I started to pass people.  Not being crazy or over running, just a natural pacing pass….. hmmmm…. I fell into step with some other runners in the group and we started….. talking.

We ran to the hills and began a series of 4 mile hill sprint/recovers. 400 uphill fast, 400 downhill recovery…. 8 times.  The first was really hard… I just didn't know when that hill would end… WTH is 400 meters…. my stomach tightened and burned…. my head started to scream….. but I told myself.. I am not not NOT a quitter.  I will not stop…. and I kept going.  Eventually I was just looking down at the ground.  I found looking up at the hill to difficult to process…. Just look down until the end and begin the lovely and relaxing downhill….. oh I loved the down hill… slowing and controlling my gait so I wasn't coming down to hard… just a smooth relaxing catch my breath run…..

It was grueling.  All of us… Maybe 30…. running that hill…. passing, pushing, gasping, the uphill fast…. cadence cadence quick turn overs strong legs push through I have this…. There was a point… maybe by 6 or 7 when I could maintain unbroken…. of course it was my mind that was breaking… My body handled this perfectly…. the perfect instrument in which the tune of hills could be played.  I have dedicated myself to strengthening my legs.. my core.. to carry me up hills….. hills are my race.  I love it and I hate it…. As the elites finished…. the rest of us having about 2 more laps.. they stood at the bottom encouraging and cheering …. it was surreal.  My friend from the parking lot walked her laps and jogged a few uphills.  I tried to encourage her each time I passed.  And I completely realize as I type, there was no bravery in what I had done…. she was the girl with true courage that day….

8th lap… I kicked in my sprint in the beginning…. keeping up with the pack leader until the turn…. AWFUL.  SO HARD… then I had to pull back and slow to a coughing dying burned out slow jog…. keep going… ah ok I stopped once to catch my something…. sanity maybe…. and then I ran smooth the rest of the way…. and…. I am not at all disappointed…. I was happy to have the push.  I'll get it next time.

And we began the 2 mile cool down back…. I fell into step with a real awesome runner…. I was worried about keeping up… the pressure…. I can't do it…. all in my head… swirling around.  And I was kind of nervous about being so exhausted and not knowing the way back… I couldn't zone out run…. I needed to pay attention… so I didn't get lost out here!  The runner looked at me and said " don't worry, I'm with you until the end."  I could have hugged her right then and there.  THANK YOU.  Instead I ran fasted and we paced out pretty strong to the finish.  Fist bump and see you next week.

The runner that I fell into step with is training for a full iron man in Oct. It turns out we both ran Chicago the past 2 years, with similar finish times!  And we both have our eye on that 4 or under full.  It was so nice to be around people with training goals like mine.  It was motivating and supportive and eye opening.. there is a whole world of people out there just like me…. and they have opened the door right in front of me and welcomed me inside…. all I have to do is take a deep breath and keep moving forward!

As for my first friend, the girl I met in the parking lot, she was just walking back as I was driving away.  I pulled over to say good bye, to thank her for talking to me and to tell her what an awesome job she was doing.  I was way more proud of her than I was of me.  I said see you next week.. and I really hope I see her….. What she will never know is she inspired me, she encouraged me, she welcomed me…. she didn't care if she was first or last or somewhere in between.  She was just there to train, like the rest of us…. she was brave enough to show up and say hi to the new girl…. I needed that.  On that day, that girl was kind of my hero…. Kind of what I aspire to be…. a brave runner….. I will be forever thankful.  And she taught me something….. first, last, or somewhere in between, we are all there for the same reason….. and we all suffer together and help lift each other up… we help one another get better and encourage… and that is why it is a group of winners….. because it's really not always about winning…. As the carmel marathon reigning champion said….. " it is about running your best and sometimes other people can push you to run faster…."


My spring opener is 2 days away.  I feel good about it.  As good as I can totally panicking and freaking out feel…..  I am learning from myself and from the talent of others… and I think I am ready to take what the day has to offer and make the most out of it!